Self-Care and Motherhood: Cannabis Part 1
Motherhood is hard, yes i’m not even going to sugar coat it; Motherhood is H-A-R-D! It comes with challenges seen and unforeseen, and it can take years to find your footing. Learning to navigate the new world of not only caring for yourself, but also caring for a completely helpless blob of cuteness can feel damn near impossible. I joined the ranks of motherhood when I was 23, a young mother with no clue, simultaneously recovering from a very traumatic birth, I had no idea how to process, and learn how to be a mother. I suffered from Postpartum mood disorders for four years. I say mood disorders, because it exceeds depression; most women experience a variety of mental conditions during and after pregnancy. These conditions fall under the term perinatal mood disorders: It is used to describe the afflicting feelings that occur during pregnancy and postpartum. The feelings can vary in intensity from mild to extreme. Perinatal mood disorders go beyond baby blues; mania, anxiety, depression, obsessive thoughts and more are all symptoms of perinatal mood disorders. I suffered silently for four years and then I gave birth to my second child. The birth of my second child was challenging and beautiful, and in no way traumatic, yet the mood disorders prevailed. I lived in a constant state of anxiety and obsession, with no relief in sight. Eventually relief came in the form of cannabis, more specifically a spliff.
After the birth of my second child, things became so unbearable that I began to disassociate; I took up permanent residence in my head. My husband noticed the changes in me and made a suggestion that would change me life, “why don’t you go roll up and smoke one” he jokingly suggested as I angrily huffed around the house. My initial response of no, it doesn’t work on me would soon be proven wrong. Growing up cannabis was a heavy presence in my life, but never something I was personally interested in, so his suggestion was completely useless in my eyes. I ignored him and things still did not improve. One evening after I put my children to bed, I sat quietly trying my best to relax so that I could go to sleep as well; no matter how I tried I could not relax. I decided a bath would help, so I went to the bathroom, and on the sink waiting for me was a spliff my husband had rolled. I chuckled, placed the spliff in my mouth and immediately lit it up. On my first pull I coughed and choked so hard I almost vomited, I took a few more softer pulls and half a spliff and ten minutes later I was feeling amazing. I was feeling; which is something that I had not done for a while. For a long time after the birth of my second child I walked around as a mind tethered to a body it could not inhabit. That spliff dropped me right into the center of myself and I felt all the feels (“feelings” doesn’t fully capture it)I had been trying not to feel. From that moment on I became a Cannabis consumer and a full fledge Canna-Mama. I am not here to say that cannabis is a fix all, I am saying that cannabis was a catalyst that allowed me to check-in with myself. I was jolted into my own presence, and forced to be present in my life. Cannabis can be an excellent tool to have in your arsenal overall, it can help to keep you present, and improve your mood and overall health.
Note: I am not a Physician or Clinical Practitioner, the information provided in this post is for educational and informational purposes only.
